I'll let you into a secret...I avoid mentioning 'sleep regressions'. I don't really believe in them...And that's not to say I believe that they've been made up or that everyone's living in a shared false reality based on a non-existent sleep struggle....

What I do mean: 

1. Sleep Regression is the wrong word: This implies your baby's sleep development has gone backwards. It hasn't. Sleep may not be as consistent as it was, but it's not because of any loss of skill from your little one. In fact, it's the opposite! These disruptions to sleep are frequently found to coincide with your little one working really hard developing and maturing! This could be that their brain is literally working extra hard overnight and this means baby isn't as switched off at night but it can also mean, they are using these quiet times overnight to practice skills. 

In the same vein, the classic '4-month' regression people refer to and fear most with their young baby, is a huge progression in their sleep cycle maturation. Your baby's brain is going from the 2-stages of newborn sleep to the more complex 4-stage cycle that we adults are used to. This is a big change for our little humans who often find it harder to move from one stage to the next or one cycle to the next at first and therefore wake more fully and call for help. Once they are more used to these more mature sleep cycles, and feel more comfortable knowing, still, that you will respond when they need, their sleep should return to what it was before - pre-progression.

2. I don't like how these progressions (and yes, I shall use this term instead of the incorrect 'regression') are assigned very specific times during development and therefore put parents into a panic in the weeks leading up to this big (and supposedly terrible, and definitely can be disruptive) change and then potentially into a continued panic waiting for it to happen if it doesn't happen when expected...When, in reality, although the times (like '4-months') are based on the average ages that these developments and disruptions in sleep have been noticed most, not all babies develop exactly at the same rate and time! So, while your friend's little one may literally start waking every hour on their 4-month birthday, yours may not...perhaps yours doesn't start experiencing this struggle until 5.5 months. Perhaps, and this is possible as I've seen it with several babies now, your little one will not be sensitive to this change and will simply 'sleep' through it...or at least, not feel the need to signal to you when they do wake a bit more.

Plus, while there's websites and books that will lay down specific months you can expect these progressions, the truth is, depending on your baby, they could happen at any time, or never, due to any development they are going through. Babies grow and develop so much and so fast in the first years, and so during any of these changes, sleep could become slightly disrupted - whether due to changes in sleep biology, increased separation anxiety as they become more conscious of themselves as separate from you, more hungry during any big growth spurts so waking more for food...the list continues. 

As well as potentially creating unnecessary anticipation of this big sleep upheaval, I also find that expecting a change, can then mean that, when one comes along, we get roped into assuming we know the reason and nothing can be done about it. The problem here is that sleep disruptions may also happen for reasons besides 'developmental progressions' e.g. due to discomfort, reflux, allergy or intolerance, dietary deficiencies etc. etc. and it's important to not get stuck on the idea that just because your baby has reached a certain age and sleep has changed, that this is due to the same reason as the books and your friends have told you about...If something doesn't feel right or you're concerned, don't feel silly for reaching out for support!

None of this is meant to scare you and, instead, to make you less worried about these particular 'regressions' you may have read about. Remember, your little one is on their own unique path and no book, or even friend, can tell you when they will change and develop. Try and reframe these periods in your mind from 'regressions' to 'progressions' - yes, they can be hard work if and when they come about, but they're a sign of something exciting around the corner: look out for that new skill emerging and remind yourself that this won't last forever.

Finally, remember to use your village! If sleepless nights are becoming a real weight, find some respite where you can: whether that's someone else doing some overnight shifts, or arriving first thing in the morning to send you marching back to bed while they take over!