Have you ever heard someone say that they are 'teaching the baby to self-soothe' or that 'they need to learn to self-soothe' instead of offering a baby comfort when they are upset? 

I hear it a lot! And yet....our human brains aren't physically capable of the act of 'self-soothing' as babies! In fact that part of the brain that allows us to regulate our emotions in that way, to give ourselves that hug, or take that deep breath, or know to make a cup of tea or put on that song to calm us down, is not fully developed until we are 25 years old! 

I don't know about you, but when I'm sad or scared or anxious, crying or not, I would not like to be left to work it out or cry myself to sleep! I'd really quite like a hug, someone to talk to or, at least, the calming presence of someone who's not sad, scared or anxious to bring me back to calm.

So, next time someone tells you to leave your crying baby, that they'll never 'learn' if you don't leave them to cry, just know, that when you are responsive to their needs, supporting them in their emotions, you are providing those building blocks for them to know how to cope with their emotions, and those of others, in the future.