I’ll be honest and say I’m definitely not a die-hard Montessori purist when it comes to my work but, having spent 2 years studying Montessori and the Early Years, there are many elements of the philosophy that I feel resonate with me and how I hope to approach my work with families of new-borns.

1.       Follow/observe the child: every family is different and so is every baby. Books and apps that prepare parents for the journey ahead have their benefits but I also find they bring anxiety with them. I’m not saying you shouldn’t read anything in preparation. But don’t view every book as the bible. I believe it is so helpful, particularly in the early days, to simply be with, and observe, your baby and gradually a routine can evolve out of their natural rhythms. Your baby isn’t necessarily going to “leap” when your friends’ does and that’s ok. Give them time and if there’s still concerns, then let’s look into it. If you had visions of what parenting would be like, and it doesn’t seem to be going that way, it’s often ok. Your baby, here right now, might just be slightly different from the one you imagined or the ones in the books.

2.      Simple needs: particularly in the early days and weeks, your baby’s main need is you. Don’t feel you need to buy all the things advertised everywhere you look. The basics needed for your little one to safely feed and sleep are fine. And then focus on looking after yourself – your baby’s most important environment and the one he/she has known the longest. Ask for as much help as you need to make sure you are also cared for or at least don’t have to worry about other aspects of life: family, friends, paid maternity support, a cleaner a few hours a week.

3.       New environment: your baby has only known one place for the last 9 months. It was consistent, cosy and comfortable. And now, everyday is full of light and noise and confusion. Imagine that happening to you and then imagine what you might need. You’d need time and someone caring to help you adapt to all this change. And so does your baby. If you’re familiar with the 4th trimester – future post to come on this – this will make sense. If you’re not familiar, don’t worry! All in good time! But never feel you’re being too responsive or reassuring to your baby. It’s ok to help them adjust to the world. You cannot spoil your baby.

4.     Respect: I love how Montessori talks about respect. My personal way of translating this is the classic “treat others as you yourself would want to be treated”: would you like to be left to cry, alone in the dark? Would you like to be forced to eat when you’re upset or in pain? How frustrated would you be when trying to communicate a need but people keep guessing wrong (it’s not your fault or theirs that you’re not speaking the same language)! Montessori refers to children being the “creator of man”. Babies are the minds and bodies of the future: the school children, shop assistants, bankers and doctors. So, respect them just like you’d hope people would and will when they’re older.

5.     Learning v. Naughtiness: babies are constantly discovering, exploring and learning about this new world they’re in and what their body is capable of. Yes, this can mean phases of your baby repeatedly throwing everything on the floor, or playing with his bottle during feeds instead of eating! They’re not intentionally being difficult. In time, they’ll move onto something new. I’d also like to use this one to remind you: your baby is only ever following their needs in that moment. They aren’t capable of playing mind games with you. So, try and be patients and empathise with this little person. The world is new, these needs are new and so, above all else, they need you.

6.     Repetition and routine: babies and young children (and me) love routine. It helps them create associations and be reassured they know what’s coming. This big new world – so much more unpredictable than their cosy womb home – can be made to feel less scary by adding a little consistency to your day - a bedtime/evening routine perhaps and opening the curtains to start the day at the same time. For some, having little consistent patterns to their day can really help a new parent: a morning walk, home for lunch, a contact nap while they watch a favourite show or read their book, an afternoon outing, and a clear winddown routine for the evening. These patterns will also help your baby, so, if it helps you both, why not try!

7.       Participation in daily life: you don’t need lots of specifically designed toys for a baby, particularly in the new-born period. A carrier or sling – you can try them at your local sling library or borrow a friends to see how you feel – and you’re good to take them with you through day-to-day activities. Even if you choose to not step foot outside the house, your baby wants to be with you, absorbing the world through their senses. Take advantage of how portable your tiny baby is. They’re taking in so much more than you know!

8.       Specialists: finally, I love the fact that in 1946, Maria Montessori was advocating for jobs like mine to exist. The new-born period can be so overwhelming for the whole family – baby and parents, siblings and pets. Having someone there who can reassure and support in those early days, weeks and months, can never be a bad thing (especially if Maria Montessori is saying so!)

Are you interested in the Montessori philosophy? Have you used it with your little ones before? I'd love to hear from you.